We live in a broken world. Broken friendships, broken relationships, broken marriages all lead to one place—a broken heart. You already know that researchers estimate that 40%-50% of all first time marriages end in divorce and the trend continues to rise. It happens in Christian marriages, too. Common as it is, the results divorce has on families and one’s life can still be devastating. Feelings may include confusion, worry, sadness, anger, or wanting to blame the departed spouse. How does it make you feel?
Divorce is difficult for everyone that goes through it. Are you dealing with the changes of your parent’s divorce? Are you struggling with how to make the adjustments, too?
Here are a few things to keep in mind.
• Remember, the divorce is between your parents, not you. Try not to get caught in the middle. Prevent your parents using you as their “go between” messenger.
• Try to stay upbeat. I know it’s difficult sometimes to concentrate on the positive aspects of your life when your parents are going through a divorce, but try to stay positive and continue to enjoy life. Jesus has your life and current situation all in His Hands. Trust Him!
• Don’t let your parents criticize the other parent in front of you. If they do, leave the room. This only adds pressure on you to take sides, which can lead to resentment.
• Maintain a normal routine, such as going to sports or social events. This gives you stability.
• Forgive your parents for some of the mistakes they have made. We all make mistakes and we all have regrets. Jesus knows all of our trials and He is in control even in the midst of our chaos.
Forgiving someone who has hurt us, such as a friend or a parent, may take time, so be patient. Little by little, you can let go of the hurt and anger that you feel. By showing your forgiveness toward the one who hurt you, you will show others that love and healing can result out of forgiving others.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32